Knotty me...

The feeling of hate is getting intense! I don't know. Don't know is it because you do not understand me well enough, or you just simply pretend that you do not. But this doesn't means that problems never exist EVEN if you close your eyes.

I just feel like to fail everything. Fail my exam, fail your expectations, fail myself. No! I've failed, just to fulfill your expectations.

Perhaps you'd never realize. I don't like to give a shot. Whenever it comes to things that I like, I'll put in all the efforts I have and I'll make sure that things work out as I want! But it's different when I don't want to. I don't mind if I failed because I DON'T CARE! Because it is NOT important, to me at least.

I've got enough, why can't you just let me be myself?

You won't ask a dead chicken to cook itself. Will you? It's IMPOSSIBLE! We all know that.

Is it the word "PROFESSIONAL" sounds so important? I'd say YES if I'm someone who wants to be well-known. Don't you understand me? I bet you don't. Give a shot? I won't.

I'm sorry. =X

是我吗？

你，怎么了？我会给你太大的负担吗？我做了什么让你不高兴的事吗？还是纯粹说，我本身很讨人厌？

对不起，我没要怪你的意思，我没资格。。。

求求你，告诉我，我到底做错了什么吗？

我知道，我不够格拜托你对我好。。。

你清楚，其实你根本就不想。。。

我明白，这是我一手造成的。。。

不需要，你没必要感到内疚。。。

无所谓，我只想你开心。。。

不准哭，反正如何你都不在乎了。。。

我希望，我的出现不会对你造成任何的困扰。。。

我也想，在你眼前彻彻底底的消失。。。

对不起，再忍耐多两个月。。。

好不好？

I do not know what you meant by detachment, because you never give me the chance to understand ANYTHING. I'm sorry. =X

Walt Disney Proudly Presents.

 

What purpose had these serve all this while?

Thank to them that I'm able to dream for miracles despite knowing the truth about REALITY,

Feel grateful that they allow me to escape into fantasy world for temporary,

And strike me with cruelty of this world subsequently.

Blame them for CONFUSING me of where does the boarder line of fairy tale and the real world lies.

Help me to learn about comparing and contrasting: I will always COMPARE scenarios in real life to those fairy tales, and I guess this is why I feel down and depress after watching them. 

*Be it good or bad, it is now a permanent and inevitable. :)

那又如何？

我已经很累了，厌恶这种生活，不喜欢这个地方，甚至讨厌这里的人。

现在，我什么都不想做不想理，只想回家大哭一场。

可以吗？

我承认自己是爱哭鬼，你奈我何能？哼！

The undone...

Outing is simply an idea to make almost everyone feels better. I'm not excluded. Hanging out with friends often works, and I always perceive it as a way to look for distractions, other than wasting money by crowning myself with the title of "shopoholic". 

The highlight is: Outing is suppose to help me to distress!

yet I do not feel good at all.

It has got me undone, put on more pressure on me, and to an extent it worsen my emotions. Perhaps I'm just being too sensitive all the time. I shouldn't been putting myself in such a terrible condition. I don't want it, but I have no idea how to control this.

I would say that I'm quite an extremist, for the reason that I always find it hard to be on the balancing points in everything.

These are not suppose to happen, still, happened. It's my mistake for turning things into mess, or I should not have taken part after all? 

Anyway, they're already PASTS.

你不知道的事。

快乐不容易，原因是它太简单。人会一直不开心，是因为他们喜欢钻牛角尖，自我要求高，防备心， 好胜心和占有欲都太强了。人们害怕失败，也不易认输 ---- 大家都很复杂，复杂得认为要简单才是难事，要快乐比登天还难。

我们常说要做大事，明明就连小事都搞不定，甚至连“简单”都不会。做人为什么就不能脚踏实地，谦卑多一些呢？

你和我，经常为了“重要的事”而烦恼，却忽略了“开心的事”。试问，所谓的“重要”是不是说要让自己陷入低潮；而所谓的“开心”是一种光阴的浪费？当我们抬头抬得太累的时候，为何不要低下头片刻，看看那些近在眼前的幸福呢？

人确实很犯贱，总是觉得遥遥可及的事才有意义，往往忽略了那些垂手可得的快乐。

注：要得到快乐，就要适可的偷懒。

I do not need to know.

Am I to say that: "there's always an end for every misery" (underlying meaning = so as happiness) or "good things will never last (in other words = so as bad moments) Both of them are of the same meaning. It's all up to we, our own to choose to see things from which angle. There's no right and wrong between two things, even if they contradict with each other.  I believe that many of us are actually struggling to become a better individual, to lead our life to a brighter future. Nobody wants to get worsen. Somehow, we just don't know which method to use, or even what are the methods exist. That's the reason why people keep trying and keep encountering failures. They do not fail, actually. Every obstacles in life is to help us to grow stronger and tougher. Not to nurture our patience to endure until all problems are ended. They never will. 

However, humans are just too forgetful. Often, they do not remember about their own pasts, about how they've gone through all circumstances and continue their life to this day. If you can do it previously, you must be able to go through it again in future. All this while we are being confined under regulations and limitations. One thing clear is, our memories do not have a limit. We can fill as many things as we like, as long as we want it. And for sure, we can choose not to allocate any spaces for certain stuffs.

It's all up to our own decision. 

*Although we can't choose what situation to be in, we still have the right to decide what to do.