Can't you see?!

Though it looks like a small matter, you'll never know how much it hurts. Because you don't care. Neither should I. Who can change me when I can't even listen to myself? The one who can will always not want to do so.

I wish that I'm over you.

A box

Is life all about making decisions and regretting over what you've chosen?

I really can't go on anymore. The more I force myself to step forward, the weaker I'm becoming. When efforts that you gave doesn't payback,what would you do? I don't know. I really don't. I feel so bad, and it's bad to feel bad. Nightmares, tears, scoldings, and counselings that are not giving any positive changes in me. I'm so sorry. I tried really hard. But I just failed again and again. Words that were said, aids that were given, aren't helping much. Tears go on, and nightmares continue with no mercy. Sometimes I just try to hold my breath in the hope that everything could stop. I'm dread of reality. I'm doing silly stuffs to "help" myself getting over these. I don't want to turn to anyone because all the blames will be back to me. Yes. I have a problem. And the problem is ME.

At times I just wish that I could hide myself inside a box. Where you occupied the space physically so that it gives you the feeling of being mentally occupied too, and there's no extra rooms for nonsense thoughts. =(

中。秋。节

真的真的对自己感到极度失望。花了那么多时间，牺牲了那么多睡眠，抛开了周末的愉快，我制造了一堆垃圾。是！过去的事就别再提了，然而我没办法不去想，然后又觉得自己为什么一直在担心过去的事，我很讨厌很讨厌现在的自己！

今天是中秋节，一个孤独又难过得中秋节... :'(