矛盾

其实，人到底可不可以相信？:(

._.

人家常说，成为你希望看到的改变。所以我都很努力的学习变成自己想要遇到的那种人。到最后才发现，被感动的只有自己。我领悟错什么了吗？

真的不喜欢上学

自幼儿园开始，我就不喜欢上学，一直到小学，一直到中学，一直到大学。我从来都没有喜欢过上学。从小学至中学，不想去学校还可以哭哭啼啼的，然后就等爸爸来安抚。在学校遇到不开心的事，都是爸爸到学校摆平的。可上了大学，爸爸这个地位，好像越来越渺小，越来越没权威了，对太多太多的事都爱莫能助了。

我这个人很懒，懒得连做事都不太想用脑。最好是，你把要做的是跟我交待，然后我做就是了，什么都不用想。也许是太懒了，所以很怕麻烦。偏偏在一个人的日子里，什么事都要自己想。吃什么，功课怎么做，衣服几时该洗了，今天要不要上街，什么时候该出发，巴士又什么时候到................所有的琐碎事，都很麻烦，很烦人。一个人等巴士时最为压力，因为常常会旷神，所以深怕巴士飘过我眼前都没注意到。

还是不爱上学，甚至看到学校里的同学都有种莫名的憎恨感。所以在学校都不怎么交朋友，尤其最最讨厌那种一直把功课成绩挂嘴边的。亲爱的，我的人生里，还有很多更值得一提的事呢。新学期即将来临，我真的很怕，真的不想这个新学期会变得像之前的那些一样，一样可怕，一样可恶。

都怪自己笨，好选不选就是选了要读那么多年的科系。每次都做那些愚蠢又没得回头的决定。现在好啦，看来读完这个3，还要来个+2，而且是一个人在那种遥远的国度过日子。我的天，什么时候才可以不用再上学了？ :|

不要嫉妒，我今天没事做~

临时决定在考试前回家，我一度还真的觉得自己疯了。我不知道是我太乐观还是太悲观的关系；我不清楚是我太高估自己还是我低估了自己。整个感觉很极端，甚至在订了机票后，我还在怀疑自己这么做到底是变得不清醒了还是顿时的清醒了。原本以为繁忙的功课暂时结束后在那边的日子也许会好过些。可是我错了，闲空的时间多了，我就开始察觉到寂寞。大家还是各忙各的，我行我素。我不喜欢一个人的感觉，我也没办法过一个人的日子。

对于我突然决定回家之事，父母也表示赞同，没多说什么。或许是因为我前一阵子把家里搞得“鸡犬不宁”，让他们担心了才没反对吧。还没到家就一直拼命给我打电话，一下说有的没的，一下又问我想吃什么。还真有点让我受宠若惊 ><

回到来，我想吃什么，只要开个金口东西就摆到面前来，说真的，我还真的初次得到这种“上等” 待遇。话说回来，我还要减肥的。不要再用食物引诱我了啦 T.T

在家的心情真的平静了很多很多。当一个人感受到被爱，真的会觉得世界充满了期待，看待人生也不会那么悲观了。听起来很夸张，我自己也觉得好笑，不过感觉归感觉，就是它在操纵人们的思维。虽说我们不该受到外来因素影响情绪，可是内心的平静也都是来自外面的某些东西。就像功课一样，没有"input"，哪来的"output"？

这位娇身惯养的小姐，是时候成长了。长大了，人总要对自己负责任。

p/s: 我知道，这次没有做错决定 :)

Fan Shu read THIS

Aglio Olio!

This is my second attempt! It's basically not a fail one, somehow it doesn't taste like authentic ones because I ended up adding whatever I like (it was tasteless according to mum).

Well, there's no word limit ya? So i guess that's all for my aglio olio report. Hahahaha :P

Next!

Tada! My roughly-a-week-old sports shoe. Sorry for the late. My phone was on PMS (can't upload after several attempts) so I transferred it to the computer and blog it! :)

Lastly.......

Doggy and kitty CNY cookies. ^^

These are what I've done recently. P/S: fan shu, I think my report had ran out of topic. :~

Hundreds of whys

I miss everything. That I used to have. People often tell others to cherish what they have, so that they won't feel regret as things are gone. But knowing to appreciate doesn't mean things won't change. The world intended to control people, nature and many more. Yet they've failed to control the time. We can't travel as fast as the speed of light. The Earth continues to spin, time passes, people changes -- nothing lasts. It might come back again, in a millennium I guess? Maybe. Who knows. No one could survive that long. No matter how much love and gratitude you've poured in, that person will still leave you someday. At least you won't be sorry to yourself? This just seems to be a pathetic way of self consolation to me.

Life's unfair, I know. Is it because the Earth is tilted at 23.4°? Or is it because our heart's located at the lefter part of the body?

Can't you see?!

Though it looks like a small matter, you'll never know how much it hurts. Because you don't care. Neither should I. Who can change me when I can't even listen to myself? The one who can will always not want to do so.

I wish that I'm over you.