F _ _ L

Do you understand me? I wonder. I can't say NO. Because you showed me that you do. Now I doubt myself if I could say YES. Because you showed that you've forgotten. About how I am, and how you used to be. I tried not to care. But it's in vain. I know...

...time might heal, or kill...

心。欣

好像从来都不曾用心去写一篇部落格。每次上到来都带着一肚子的怨气，然后一把鼻涕一把眼泪的把情绪一行又一行地打出来，直到词穷才甘愿。

想了想，部落格的用意何在？这个答案很主观吧。

那再想想，部落格对我的用意何在？----- 情绪的发泄

发现自己不会如何跟人家沟通，很多事很多想法很多时候都不知该怎么说出口，而且你想说，人家又不务必要听，我倒不如去跟墙壁诉说好了。它虽然冷冰冰的，至少它不会拒绝你，至少它是坚固的，还靠得住。

可是可是只不过...对着一面墙说话人家会觉得你不对劲啊！><

我还是很在乎人家对我的看法。

开心的事通常不会在这里被发现，但不代表我不曾快乐。只是，要分享喜悦不难找对象，要找诉苦的对象就较有难度。所以就跑到这儿来了。

部落格，大概只有关心你的朋友会浏览的吧。就算是那些无聊透顶的人进来了，那么悲观的文章他们看了也会跑掉吧。

也许我没有很用心地去写，但至少我写的句句都是真心话。:)

Ungrateful me.

And again, mission failed.

I tried really hard, or perhaps not hard enough. I'm too realistic to keep reminding myself about this escapism. It's only for TEMPORARILY. Now I realized that it doesn't matter where I am. I just need to feel secured, and that's all. I admit that I prefer to stay relax back at home, rather than to plan for trips and visits to elsewhere. Somehow, people think that I'm stupid for not utilizing this precious holiday to the max. Honestly, I wanted to. But having fun is NOT FUN when you're all alone. :(

All these while, I've been putting efforts. But it's not for the purpose to make myself happy. It's to change myself into what others want --- an all-time cheerful girl.

I know that I'm loved. But loving me with the wrong way will just make me feel even worse. Can you PLEASE love me as the way I am, instead of trying to turn me into what you think would be better for me? :')

Sorry

I don't know what I want.

Sorry for making everyone to wait.

I'm just too confuse of what to do. 

Seriously in need of a counselor. :(