"it's alright"

It's 2 weeks left before the semester ends. I want to get my work done so that I could go home, but on the other hand, I'm procrastinating. I'm not, actually, but I just can't figure out what to do, what to design. Perhaps the failure of the first assignment had left an impact on me. I keep on telling myself that it is ok because this is a process of learning. On the external, I really do feel ok about it. But somewhere deep inside my heart's corner, I know it has indeed discouraged me. And this is perhaps why I still couldn't come out with a new design for the first project, and I always have the feeling that I will never get it right. I don't want to procrastinate, but I couldn't come out with anything. Sitting there and keep on drawing is not the way because I'll get more depressed as time passed, neither do getting any from work and enjoy myself because I'm not progressing with my work. Maybe I'm just not stimulated, maybe I'm just not good enough for this, maybe it's just the inner me that is refusing to work. Despite all the maybe(s), I know that these shouldn't be my excuse for not getting my work progressed. I should be responsible for myself. I know that this is the stress that I am giving to myself, due to the expectations from others. I want to get out from this. You can't live your life by having someone or something to constantly stimulating your dumb brain. Maybe, what I really need a talking machine. A thing that will not get tired accompanying you, not get tired of listening to whatever important or unimportant stuffs you have to say, will talk to you constantly whenever you need someone to talk to you, will never get crossed for whatever you have said or done, will be there to give you a hug and to tell you that everything is fine.

I just want to feel better. But I can't do it on my own. I'm still living for other people. I wish the people that I (think) I'm living for, will tell me that it's alright to not get things right. Even to the end, even if I fail this one, or even, if i don't want to do it anymore. To a certain degree, I still have the pride of being someone that everyone thinks you're good. Please, do not take it all away.